the enemy is a liar

I've been going through Ephesians, focusing on Ephesians 6:10-20, with the woman's Bible study group at my church, and God is allowing me to see more clearly that our enemy is a liar. Not just an occasional one, but that is all he does. He lies. He cheats. And he is out to destroy - as in defeat us to the point we don't get up again. That is a big attack. And it is on going. The comparison game I play with my looks, abilities, daily successes and failures - all of it lies. God is the only One I should be listening to. He is where I get my marching orders, my daily list of to-do's. Other's opinions and writings can be inspired, even of God, but as soon as I allow it to be above God in my life, it gets twisted by the enemy as a lie. This is why it is so important to know our God - to spend time with Him daily. To be intimate & vulnerable with God allows Him access to my deepest heart & mind. Then He can change me, mold me, and speak His truth to me. When I am listening to & seeking out God, all other voices are filtered through Him, and it's His truth I get to experience, not the enemy's twisting of things into lies.

May you experience Gods truth throughout today, as you meditate on things of Him. May you not be detracted by things of this world, but be consumed with how mighty, powerful, strong, great, majestic & over-all God is today.

the mom I did not anticipate becoming

I did not see myself as the mom I am. I never in my life thought I would make most of the bread items we eat from scratch. Or that I would choose (willingly) to homeschool my children (I mean, who needs that added responsibility, right?!). I didn't think I'd be open to, even hopeful that, God would call our family to another country. Didn't think I'd want as many kids as God gives us, trusting in Him no matter what that number will be. So fun, and so much different than what I thought I would be.

marriage extremes

I was thinking over some verses in Ephesians 5:21-32, and some thoughts led to the idea that
extremes are needed in marriage, as marriage is a reflection of the church/Christ relationship. As the church, it is wrong for us to find approval from anywhere else but in Christ. So, I'm thinking it is also not ok for a wife to find approval from anywhere else other than her husband. Not to say she shouldn't do a good job at whatever she is doing, Proverbs 31 speaks to that, but that emotionally she should find all her worth first in Christ, than in her husband. This is a lot of responsibility for the husband, but I think is SO important in the function of the relationship. Maybe looking for it elsewhere opens the door for the enemy to get a foothold. Just some thoughts I've been thinking through....how many times have I wanted someone's approval, and where did it get me?

Love beyond this world

I just held my son while he fell asleep for a nap. Nothing new about that act, I do it daily. But today was different since my husband took our daughter on an outing, so it was just me & the boy. As I was holding him, at first I was of the mindset "let him fall asleep so I can get going on all the things I need to do". Then God reminded me that my daughter wasn't home, so I didn't need to tend to her, and that truly nothing was more important than being fully in 'this moment'. So I let myself. I let myself fully focus on the moment, and God spoke to my heart. As I was holding my boy, I really let myself feel him resting on me. His dependence and desire for me was so clear and so real. And my uncontrollable  undeniable love for him was overwhelming. Not in an emotional sense, which I tend to expect when I think about or relate to my kids. But in a 'there are no words to describe this what-so-ever' sense. As in, I love my children no matter what, and it's not even a choice I have to make. I love them beyond my emotion, so much that there are no words for it. I'll never be able to convey this 'love' to them. Not in this life, at least. Until they experience it for themselves, they'll never know it.

And God reminded me that's how He is toward me. His love is so resoundingly big, so immense it cannot be contained by anything, ever. Makes me think of the scripture in Song of Solomon 8, verses 6 through 8. "..love is a strong as death...many waters cannot quench love..." In my conversation with God in this moment, I started thinking about how I believe love is a choice we need to make. Unlike God, our natural tendencies tend to be self driven, not others driven. My choice to love my husband is what keeps our marriage growing toward what God has for it. My choice to love my husband & children is what reminds me to deny myself and put them first. But there's more to it.

God gave me yet another glimpse into Himself, that His love isn't about choice, it just is. There is no choice but to love. Now, I've known that God is love and that He doesn't choose whether or not to love us, but I can't fully understand how that works. God is so much bigger than my understanding will ever be, and I love when He gives me glimpses into Himself. By choosing to love, I let God lead me. By allowing God, who is love, to lead me, more & more of my life looks like Him, as in I make loving choices more often. He is able to transform me to be love, as He is love, and not just choose to love. It's beyond emotion and all reason.

I get to experience a bit of His love in this world through my kids. The love I have for them is a part of me, I cannot separate myself from it.

I'm learning from God to have the same type of love for my husband. It's interesting to me that God relates to us as His sons & daughters, and the church/Jesus relationship as husband and wife. Different dynamics, different way for us to learn God's love? The love doesn't change, just our understanding of it? These things I'm pondering lately...

White Bean Vanilla 'Custard'

Don't be put off by beans being the main ingredient, this is good stuff!

White Bean Vanilla 'Custard'

Ingredients

• 3 cups white beans, drained and cooled
• 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
• 1 cup sugar, or other sweetener (a little less makes it less sweet) 
• 6 TB ground flax seed
• 12 TB water
• 2 Tablespoons vanilla extract

Instructions

1. Pulse cooked, drained, and COOLED white beans in food processor until completely smooth.
2. Add remaining ingredients, and blend til thoroughly combined and smooth.
3. Enjoy! Yum!

gifts #23-

#23 - my son turning one
#24 - my daughter losing her first tooth
#25 - my daughter being so happy that she laughed till she cried
#26 - abundant work for my hubby
#27 - friends having babies grow in them
#28 - being able to leave friends with heartbreak in God's hands
#29 - Hebrews 10:19-25 ...'encourage outbursts of love..."
#30 - peace in the midst of a storm

gifts #18 - #22

#18 - my daughter being able to tell me stories from Scripture
#19 - my son laughing so hard I think he needs to pause & breathe
#20 - my husband who provides so well for us
#21 - a table to do schoolwork at and have meals around
#22 - teaching my children about God's gifts every day